i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
