She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
