I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
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