This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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