I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
