Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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