her vagine was all disorganized.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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