I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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