that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
