Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Randomize
