Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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