No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
