I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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