Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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