woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize