his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
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