Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
