I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
