Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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