why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
