i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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