I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
