Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
