She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
