I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
