Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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