He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
