Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
