Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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