I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
