My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
