If that was your dad, he is hot
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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