my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
