I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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