This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
