I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
