jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
