Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Boobs speak an international language.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
