Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
