She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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