Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
