forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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