Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
