Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
