so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I have aggressive nipples.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
