I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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