It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
