Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
