"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
