He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I can't turn off my feet"
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
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