i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
