why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
