Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
