It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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