i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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